Covid-19 Madness

I went to the store to replenish supply
but when I got there, there was little to buy.
The eggs were gone and not one measly tator –
the clerk shrugged her shoulders – “Better luck later.”

The Charmin and Northern had flown the coop.
But that’s no problem – I just won’t poop.
The cereal aisle looked sad and forlorn,
not one box of oats, or wheat, or corn.

I was gritting my teeth and getting quite pissed,
thinking I’d  not find a thing on my list,
but I rounded the corner and “Well, all be!”
One bottle of sanitizer waiting for me!

With a mission in mind, I took off down the aisle.
The frown on my face; replaced with a smile.
But then – with Roadrunner speed from somewhere she came;
a strong-minded, young woman with sniper like aim.
She snatched that bottle with her outstretched hand
while I considered where best my fist might land.

I caught myself before I landed the blow
right at her belly-button or slightly below.
What was I doing? I’m not the mean kind.
This corona virus was affecting my mind!

Well, I set a new record that day at the store.
For, I’ve never left there with nothin’ before.
I felt quite smug about the money I saved,
but not so much about how I’d behaved.

I’ve had a chance now to think it all through.
Before I go back I know what I’ll do.
I’ll dig in my purse and throw out the mace;
under the mask I’ll paste a smile on my face.

I have good intentions, but then – who’s to say
what will play out on the next shopping day.
Who’s to know what I’ve hidden beneath,
Is it a smile or am I gritting my teeth?

 

(Hope you enjoyed a bit of humor this month. For more humor, check out my book page and how to obtain Chicken Soup’s newest book – Laughter is the Best Medicine. The 101 stories in the book have been selected from thousands of entries so they’re pretty much guaranteed to give your belly some exercise.) 🙂