Extreme Solitude

It has been said that not since biblical Adam, has a human known solitude like Michael Collins. Even though “his” event happened in my lifetime, and more specifically on my birthday, I had to ask, “Who’s Michael Collins?” Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are names quite familiar to us, but Michael Collins, even though no less important, is less familiar. He piloted the command module for Apollo 11 which carried the men to the moon and allowed Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Aldrin to be the first humans to walk on the lunar surface. While the two astronauts stomped across the moon and planted the first American flag, Mr. Collins circled the moon in the module. As he drifted to the back side, all communication with both his fellow crew members and with those on earth were severed as was expected. In his journal that day he wrote, “I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it. If a count were taken, the score would be three billion plus two over on the other side of the moon, and one plus God knows what on this side.”

I can’t claim anything close to this degree of solitude, but I do remember a time when I was so lonely for my family that I didn’t know if I would survive another day without seeing them. I had just finished up a grueling season of demanding work during my nurse’s training. A mega paper that had required hours of research had at last been handed in. For weeks, my mind had been focused entirely on the paper, my work schedule, my patients, and other “nursing school” details I have long forgotten. No time since have I experienced such an overwhelming relief once that intense month was behind me. I desired nothing more than to have my Mom and Dad visit and give me a hug and take me to dinner.

It didn’t happen. Not to mention it was a five hour trip to Lincoln, NE, but it was also a busy time on the ranch. Ranchers, as you might know, don’t just don’t take off at the drop of a hat or the call of a daughter. I lived through it, but I might have shed some tears.

Fifty years later, I have had many opportunities to “feel” that loneliness again. I have experienced extended periods when I have had long evenings by myself that could have turned into a pity party of major proportions. But, I have been spared the agony. How come, you ask? Why is it different now? I can only credit it to increased spiritual maturity. Back in the 70’s I was still looking for other people (my folks, for example) to fill the void. Today, I rely upon Jesus. He is always with me and there’s no one that can love me more than He does.

So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us – no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One! Romans 8:38-39 (The Passion Bible)

Until next time – keep on readin’ and I’ll keep on writin’.