Never Say Never

Have you ever thought so strongly about something that you didn’t even consider the possibility there could be something or someone that could change your way of thinking?

I have to go back to my high school days to remember my first experience that taught me to “never say never.”

The guidance counselor was meeting with each student in my class privately to determine our interests and set us on a path of electives that would help us in our career choices at the end of our high school experience. “DeLila, what profession do you think you’d like to pursue when you graduate?” Mrs. Allen asked. I pondered that question for a while and then answered, “I have no idea what I want to be, but I know I DON’T want to be a nurse.”

I don’t know why I felt so strongly against this honorable profession, but I was adamant that nothing would change my mind about it.  Then….Grandpa Harley became ill and his condition continued to worsen almost daily. The doctors couldn’t determine the basis of why he was losing weight, becoming frail and weak, and feeling poorly. In 1970 they didn’t have the sophisticated means of diagnosing like we have today.

The inevitable crisis climaxed in my grandparent’s small living room there on Park Avenue in Norfolk Nebraska. Grandpa passed out as Grandma watched his eyes roll back in his head. “Harley, Harley” she yelled as she shook his shoulders. There was no response.  He was still breathing when the ambulance arrived, but by the time they reached the hospital it was evident Grandpa was losing blood from an unknown internal source. Weighing less than 90 pounds when they took him into surgery that day, it was a last-ditch emergent effort to help Grandpa. The surgeon told us straight out that he might not come back to us. I couldn’t imagine life without my loving Grandpa.

This story ends well, but Grandpa was extremely weak from the loss of blood and the surgery that repaired a large bleeding ulcer. He would need lots of care before he regained his independence. His stay in the hospital was long enough that we made the four hour trip several times to visit him. The nurses were amazing! They were the eagle eyes for the doctors – reporting whatever looked amiss and troubling. They were kind to the family, often including us in delightful conversations in an effort to know us better. My respect and admiration began to grow for these sweet and competent caregivers.

The day finally came when Grandpa was discharged. He needed more help than Grandma could give on her own. It was summer. Dad released me from the hayfield to move in with Grandpa and Grandma to help. During this time my heart continued to soften towards the idea of being a nurse. By the time I went back to school in the fall, I knew my electives needed to include more math and science courses. At the end of my senior year, I was accepted into the Bryan School of Nursing program. Forty-five years after graduating as a registered nurse, I retired.

This is all to remind us: We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. (Proverbs 16:9) Said another way in the same chapter in verse 33 – We can throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.

I don’t think I’ve said the word, “I’ll never” since that experience. Our plans sometimes get rerouted. But you know what? I rest in the thought that God has the best plan for me so it’s okay.  

Until next time – Keep on readin’ and I’ll keep on writin’.